All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
