she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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