btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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