@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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