Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Terrible idea I love it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
