so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
