he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Semen is not good for contacts.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
