My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
