I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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