I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
