his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
