Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
