i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
