its not stalking. its research.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
