oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
