spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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