I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
