She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
