i was born a porn star she said
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
