dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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