Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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