I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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