omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
