Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
