Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
