We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
