sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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