I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
