when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
