he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
