The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
