Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
only if we run a train.
done.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
