He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
