How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
