Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
