You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you guys were way drunker than both of me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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