I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
