You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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