i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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