You were right. It hurts to walk today.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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