Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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