remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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