Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I need to calm my uterus...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
