We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
