his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
