I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
