Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
