Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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