Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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