did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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